The soap’s early-00s revival, plagued by poor ratings, was explained away in its final episode as some kind of hallucination on the part of a supermarket worker, with the show’s characters merely customers in the shop where she worked (yes, really). The first rule of writing – do not, under any circumstances, use the words “It was all a dream” – was flagrantly flouted by Crossroads. Surely a heart attack on the edge of a cliff would be enough to finish anyone off? However, drowning proved no biggie for Erinsborough’s resident tuba fan, who was found five years later at a Salvation Army shop, having apparently been afflicted with amnesia and assumed the name Ted. But, really, what would the fun be in that? Here are the most outlandish, most memorable soap plots of all time. “As other TV fiction has become busier and darker, perhaps the soaps need to aim lighter and slower,” he adds. The likes of Coronation Street and EastEnders are in crisis, he says in the latest issue of the Radio Times, because they are “ catastrophe after crisis on the best-known characters” in order to boost flagging ratings. ![]() ![]() A ccording to the writer and broadcaster Mark Lawson, it’s time for soaps to tone things down.
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